Fracts for September 2024

DISCLAIMER 

A "Fract" is a fractured fact, if you didn't already guess that. Nothing in this post is true including this disclaimer. But, I had to add this disclaimer because a growing number of humans were basing their entire belief system on "The Truth As We Know It". And that, in itself, is a Fract. And now for the most current Fracts, which are, unfortunately, hard to separate from common content on the internet, which is a series of pipes.

END OF DISCLAIMER

We were required by a so called Universal Health Code, to add that last "end of disclaimer" title, because too many easily hypnotized readers would continue to read the disclaimer repeatedly, ignoring all reality, until their muscles were wasted, blood glucose was dangerously low, and they missed several episodes of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and, thus, didn't know why Dakota was angry with Mayci. 

THE REAL END OF THE DISCLAIMER

So, now for real life, as Bluey would say, the Fracts. Note that this is not part of a disclaimer -- it's just a note. So, there's no need to add another "end of disclaimer". -END OF NOTE

FRACT 2024.09.07.0001 Every conceivable lie has been told, so, in the future, if it's on the Internet, you can believe it.

FRACT 2024.09.07.0002 Turns out, the Fract which stated that "anyone can play guitar if they just try", is not really true.

FRACT 2024.09.07.0003 It is not absolutely true that a lie can never be easily not spotted because the tellers of lies, don't NEVER use language which intends to not make the truth of lies unspottable. Don't you not not disagree?

FRACT 2024.09.07.0004 The integers between 44 and 49 were found in Terrance Howard's backyard. Unfortunately, 52 remains missing.

FRACT 2024.09.07.0005 "Love Island" is not real. Well, not in the sense that reality is actual reality. But then, what is "Nothing"... so, how can we know anything for sure? 

FRACT 2024.09.07.0006 Even though your monitors sound good when your band does its sound check, after about half an hour of ear splitting stage volume, they begin to sound muddy. This is the entirely sound person's fault and you should scold them firmly because you're sure it's them, and not you.

FRACT 2024.09.07.0007 Paul McCartney died in a car wreck in 1966 and was replaced by a nearly identical, left-handed virtuoso bassist, who could sing just like the original Paul, and wrote songs in the style of the deceased. Because such uniquely talented people are plentiful. Because some people are really stupid.

FRACT 2024.09.07.0008 Many years ago, this guy built a really huge boat and he took a bunch of animals a stuck them all on this boat while it rained for a bunch of days and then it stopped and he let all the animals go and the animals all just went about their business and the people in that family all repopulated the earth unaware that they were probably going to encounter the effects of procreating with close relatives the end. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

FRACT 2024.09.07.0009 It not well known that Fred Flintstone was a jazz saxophone player who pioneered the playing of major thirds over minor chords. It sounded really bad, which is believed to be the reason behind his obscurity as a jazz innovator. That, and he was a cartoon who could not, in reality, play actual, material musical instruments. Hey... these are Fracts, not just stupid ramblings!

FRACT 2024.09.07.0010 The small island nation of Todolocura is the most violent country on Earth. The population is a just a guy named Bert who likes to hit himself on the head with a brick. Though truly a beautiful island, Todolocura is not recommended for tourism as the only accommodation was a hotel made of brick. It's gone.

FRACT 2024.09.07.0011 A developer in Agoraphilia, TX, built a convenience store, however, he did not include a door, and customers had enter by crawling through a bathroom exhaust vent. He closed the store after three month in the face of a lawsuit which claimed the market was NOT convenient, and was, therefore, fraudulently named.

FRACT 2024.09.07.0012 Late in August of 2024, a prominent physicist announced that he would reveal the true secret of the Universe, that would end starvation, cure all diseases, solve traffic issues in large cities, keep bread fresh for years, prevent grammar errors in all known languages, and would correct the pitch of bad singers. Unfortunately, on the way to his press conference, he stepped on a Lego Brick^tm and fell into a bottomless sinkhole. We were so close... 

FRACT 2024.09.07.0013 The number of cell phones will soon surpass the available supply of countable integers, so, in 2030, carriers will begin augmenting the supply by issuing personal and business phone numbers based on imaginary numbers, irrational number, and infinitely repeating decimals. (The infinitely repeating decimals are still being tested as of this date.) Spokespersons for the carriers said, "It's a real good idea, 'cuz you know why, 'cuz we's really smart and we thinked it."

FRACT 2024.09.07.0014 Turns out, you can divide by zero. Unfortunately, no one knows what the result of operation would be, so, it's still "undefined". But math officials say that you can do it now.

Usage note: You can impress your significant other by whispering Fracts into their ears (assuming they have ears) during those intimate moments. You may assume that the chosen Fracts are so universally known that you need only recite the identification numbers. Results may vary. No refunds will be issued. We are not responsible for any bodily injury incurred during these mutterings. -- End of Usage Note