Fracts for 2018

#00000036
Fortunately, though there are those who would mislead the public, the US news media is more watchful than ever for spotting and calling out deception, lies, spin,  and untruths.


#00000037 
You are clever and funny when you're drunk.

#00000038
100% of American's agree, robo-calls are a great idea. 

#00000039
Roofing is fun.

#00000040
The scientific community is now unified behind the concept that "the more you eat, the healthier you get." 

#00000041
The 325 residents of Woodchuck, KS, on September 23, 2017, all simultaneously shouted, "Umberto", for no discernable reason.

#00000042
The cast members of "Housewives of Beverly Hills" are paradigms of admirable behavior.

#00000043
Bands love it when you climb onto the stage and grab the microphone. You're adorable when you're drunk.

#00000044
Dale Grogman of Bejeweled, IN, submitted a DNA sample to Ancestry.com, and discover he had absolutely no identifiable link to the remainder of humanity.

#00000049
Ninety-six percent of Americans would vote for Arnold the Pig as mayor of their own city.

#00000050
Though this oddity was previous unnoticed by mathematicians who specialize in number theory, there are no integers between 44 and 49. Most It is believed this is due to Earth's shifting magnetic field and that banning major 7th chords might hasten the return of the upper 40s... or banning something else.

#00000051
If you swallow pure sodium metal, you will explode.
(Editor's note: this myth has now been debunked.)

#00000053
It turns out that the integer previously known as "fifty-two" is also missing. It is also a fact that a majority of people over 44 can't figure out whether they should add or subtract from their age to account for the missing integers.

#00000054
Dang.

#00000055
Where HAVE all the flowers gone?

#00000056
Everything previously thought to be true is actually false and vice versa -- including this statement.

#00000057
The Council of Extra-terrestrial Civilizations issued a statement poopooing (their word) restrictions on illegal aliens. Spokesalien, Lrrr of Omicron, said, "We will eat your livers." 

#00000058
Dorothy Grunne of Peasburgh, MA, got her toe caught under the exit of the down escalator at a local shopping mall and was sliced to ribbons. Later in the afternoon, in the food court, the BurgerNut^tm sold two-for-one hamburgers.

#00000059
"It's just writer's block," said Alan Prufrock, ironically from Alantown, IL. Mr. Prufrock has not written a single complete sentence in his entire life, but thinks that he'd like to be a songwriter.